This is a Fake! A Collection of Unreal Things – h/b

In this humorous, full-colour hardback, Andrew-Mark Thompson presents items ripped from an alternative dimension in his basement from a world where Doctor Who, and its tie-in merchandise, were a little different from how fans might have remembered.

Packed full of items which should-have-been and never-were, this is the ultimate book of Doctor Who appreciation viewed through a lens of affectionate parody.

‘This book is a work of genius.’ David Brown, Best of British Magazine

‘There are a lot of books coming out for the 60th anniversary of Doctor Who, but I will be a little bit surprised if there’s one quite so unusual, or able to make you laugh as hard as this.’ Paul Simpson, SciFiBulletin

‘This Is a Fake, courtesy of Andrew-Mark Thompson, has had tears rolling down my face. The imagery is clever and witty – but there are *so many* tiny jokes in each picture that you read and then have to go back and reread. Full review when I’ve finished it, but every single Doctor Who fan (and indeed Quatermass aficionado) needs this on their book shelves.’ Paul Simpson

‘If you’ve not already pre-ordered this, then you need to get onto that immediately – this may be *the* book of the 60th anniversary…’ Paul Simpson

‘So close to the mark that it could be considered real!’ Radio Free Skaro

‘Very funny, very sharp, a very warped sideways sense of humour … just mad!’ Paul Mount (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4GaFsNpFTtM)

CUSTOMER COMMENTS

First review on Amazon:

Garry P Flanagan: ‘I’m really going to cherish this & dip into it whenever I need a laugh. It’s SO brilliant, detailed & hilarious. It must have taken an age to create. Like a portal into a slightly different universe – where my lifelong love of ‘Who has slightly different (& funnier) trappings..!’

Richard Walter: ‘It’s a mad bonkers book but so beautifully and cleverly put together, I defy anyone not to love it. It will also take ages to read “all the small print” so as not to miss a thing. Congratulations to all concerned for this brilliant publication – not just relating to Doctor Who fake stuff. Even Crossroads gets featured!’

‘It really is rather lovely; an affectionate look at all types of activities we appreciate, all the types of merchandise we collect and being a complete pisstake at those the same time. Things you never knew you wanted that would be the pride of collections if only BBC Enterprises had been more creative!’ Rarewolf

‘The postie delivered it while I was cooking lunch. I started leafing through random pages and had to stop, as I was laughing too much. Genius on every page!’ Al Miles

PLEASE NOTE: THE FREE 36 TEA-CARD SET AND ALBUM THAT CAME WITH INITIAL ORDERS PLACED DIRECT VIA THIS WEBSITE ARE NOW OUT OF STOCK AND NO LONGER AVAILABLE.

Copies of this book are available to USA-based customers through the following retailer:
WHO North America: https://www.whona.com

128pp. 11×8.5 large format, full colour hardback. (Early orders placed direct via this website came with a free 36 tea-card set and album, but please note these are no longer available.)
ISBN 978-1-84583-219-3
Published 1 August 2023

ABOUT THE AUTHOR BY THE AUTHOR

Andrew-Mark Thompson’s first memory of Doctor Who is Jon Pertwee ripping a policeman’s face off at the end of part two of ‘Terror of the Autons’. He was seven years old. His mum insists his first encounter with the series was much earlier when, as a two year old toddler he came face to face with yellow Louis Marx tricky action Dalek … and screamed the house down in terror. He doesn’t remember this at all and puts it down to the situation being so traumatic. He first really became a  fan in 1976 when during a fortnight’s holiday on a Great Yarmouth caravan site, he refused to go down to beach and instead, stayed in his bunk to read Doctor Who and the Cybermen by Gerry Davis, which he’d just bought from the camp shop for 35p. He read it in one day and only fleetingly recalls the heavy rain and thunderstorm that hammer on the caravan’s roof for most of the day. He certainly doesn’t recall the state of his family when they returned from the beach that day. The book caused him to indulge his holiday savings in further reads – three in total. Doctor Who and the Auton Invasion and Doctor Who and the Daleks – both slightly cheaper at 30p each.

The floodgate had been opened and by the end of the decade, every subsequently published Target novelisation formed a row of rainbow spines on the bookshelf in his bedroom at the front of his home in Derby. He often refers to the ’80s as the decade of fan sadness, not because it was sad but because he did all those embarrassing things that all young fans of a TV series do. He joined a fan club. He edited a fanzine (or two). He wrote letters to the official Doctor Who weekly/monthly/magazine. He appeared on local radio every time a new companion or Doctor was announced. He bought everything with the show’s logo on. He staged library displays of his collections. He pestered the poor sod who ran the DWAS’s Reference Department with inane questions and stamped addressed envelopes. He went to conventions in London and shyly didn’t talk to anyone. He moaned about the show … incessantly! But above all, he formed his outlook on the world through his love of a silly old British sci-fi TV series that, by the end of the eighties, was becoming neglected by others less open to its charm.

When the series was cancelled in 1989, he ran away and joined a circus (or rather a theme park but circus sounds more romantic). At the circus (theme park) he exercised his need for artistic expression by performing in wild west shoot-outs and Hollywood stunt shows. His Groucho Marx impersonation is still talked about. He also assisted Sooty in putting on shows for several years until their relationship deteriorated and now they both no longer talk. As the new millennium dawned, he shifted his horizons shortly before the circus (theme park) closed down for good.

Whilst working at a museum with two fine vintage toilets, he won a university scholarship in a local newspaper competition and went all poor for three years, living off Pot Noodles and the kindness of strangers. It was as a (very) mature student that he discovered he couldn’t write film and television scripts – his ideas were too broad and too deep for conventional story telling. Instead, he found he was able to use a PC to make images of things that didn’t exist. Following a messy nervous breakdown in the very public arena of a telephone call centre, he retreated into his own little world and began designing Target book covers for Doctor Who stories that hadn’t been novelised. Luckily, the BBC had seen his predicament and had begun creating new Doctor Who stories in 2005 to feed his need for artistic therapy. He also started making things up and lying to people about Sapphire and Steel ice lollies on Facebook. He even upset Joanna Lumley who had included his ice lolly ad in her tour brochure thinking it was real. Luckily she was the legendary Joanna Lumley and she laughed it off with her customary graciousness.

In 2022, he stopped creating his retro Target covers as he’d finally caught up with the BBC and had also redone all his crappy early ones. Now he’d hit the big time. He was being noticed. And all the big publishers were clamouring for a piece of his creative genius. But, being a homely quiet and reflective person, he shunned all this and accepted the offer put to him by the small independent publisher TELOS™ The result is now in your hands (or it may be open on a desk or table, I don’t know!). A book with pages and a cover. There’s a title page, a dedication and a series of acknowledgements. There’s fun and madness. There’s tragedy and sadness. There’s even that smell that all modern books have when your first open them. Go on, have a sniff!

Above all, this is A BOOK.

And it’s a book that Andrew-Mark Thompson has created and it’s the culmination of a seven year old seeing Jon Pertwee rip the face of a policeman in 1971.

Who said kids are influenced by what they see on TV?

Andrew Mark-Thompson isn’t married, has no children and doesn’t own two cats.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Andrew-Mark Thompson has been a graphic designer since he found he had a bit of a flair for it in 2007 when he discovered he couldn’t write scripts at university. Since then, he has amused social media with his off-beat designs based around cult television shows like Doctor Who, Quatermass and Crossroads. His Sapphire and Steel ice lolly ad has fooled many including Joanna Lumley. He has created covers for many books including Nigel Kneale’s official biography, a book about Doctor Who annuals and Telos’ range of Doctor Who spin-off novelisations. He has been a part of the wider Who fandom since 1980 and has edited and contributed to many fanzines over the years. He – along with Steve Hatcher – has co-organised the popular East Midlands ‘Whooverville’ conventions since the mid-2000s. Outside of fandom, he has at various points in his life been an office manager, shop assistant, museum guide, day centre manager, call centre operator, event commentator, stuntman, puppeteer for a small yellow bear, actor and press officer. He does not own two cats.